Reconnecting

It is hard to believe that it has been this long since I have written anything with everything that has been going on. The way I feel about being in the cavern is starting to change. All of spent so long wandering around down here waiting for something, looking for something. And then this happens, Rose and Willow, casualties in others are calling the Bahro v Bahronoir war.

Gone were the delusions of discovering the fate of Phil or Dr. Watson. Gone was delusion of finding Yeesha, of discovering more of the meaning behind the words she left for us. Gone was the idea that the cavern was always going to be safe.

We huddled together listening to each other relaying information from those who could make their way into the city, to those of us who could not. It seems the whole community just connected together, each and every one of us connected to everyone else. I kept waiting to hear there was something we could collectively do to help the situation, but knowing deep down inside that it was happening as it had to, leaving those trained and trusted by the DRC to be the ones with their hands on the problem.

In the aftermath of all this, the feeling of this community has changed. Many who used to be almost ever present in the cavern do not seem to be around any longer. Maybe the surface pulls stronger now that we realize more of the cost of being in the cavern.

32622, 60, -86

I am sitting here now, as I was before all this start, watching, waiting. It is hard to believe that I sat here all this time just watching other Explorers pass by, occasionally stopping to talk about Ages, talk about the weather.

Right before everything happened, the whole community seemed to be a buzz with some kind of TV show or episode that I guess was supposed to air on 19 May. I don't know if it ever did. I was never able to get enough information about it to find it on the Tivo to record it.

I am still sitting in the pub. People still go by, say hello, chat. I try not to say hello till someone actually gets into the pub. There are a lot of Explorers who are in the alley just to see the memorial.

32580, 63, -86

Flowers and wreaths left at the crack in the wall—a fracture in the rock of cavern and the community.

Last night, at one of the parties that regularly happen, was the first time since the events of that week that I have felt that I was able to connect again with the Explorer community. And yet, still I feel the draw to be alone.

57178, 111, -79

Tracing a path through the city, moving from place to place. Trying to renew the connections that were just there in the days, weeks and even years before. I still have to wonder where this will take me next . . . .

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