Notes from D'ni
This is a journal of my exploration of the D'ni city and ages.
--Nausea, Jean-Paul Sartre
I hope I know what I am doing
The DRC seems to be running into issues getting some systems back online, the Great Zero is going to be down till at least sometime next week. Not surprisingly, there are weather problems with a new Age they were hoping to allow Explorers to access.
After “The Scream” and the “Great Linking,” I am starting to think that there may be more working against the DRC than just money and impatient Explorers, or even Cate Alexander.
Of course, with only the neighborhood and part of the City (now including the Ferry Docks) to work with, it seems that maybe the Explorers are all starting to turn their frustration inward.
There seem to be people who want to cut short the term of the current Liaisons, or even call for the outright termination of the DRCL roles. It has been tough, and even I have had my say in the conversation, both in and outside the Cavern.
Last night, I did something I hope I don't regret. I volunteered myself to host a meeting to, I hope, get something going. Partially, I want to get a feel for what kind of response the community will have. I also really do not know how people who have not been vocal on the forums feel. And with the uncertainty that recent events have caused, and the lack of any real organization,
I feel that the meeting will be successful if it happens and if I'm not spending the whole time talking to myself.
I hope the community doesn't take what I am trying to do the wrong way. I do not represent anyone other then myself. I have not found a home other than the hood the DRC originally assigned me. I do not consider myself part of any organization. I'm doing this for myself, but I would much rather just sit back in the shadows and continue my own exploration. I'd much rather be sharing my Journey.
But somebody has to do something!
I still have not made my decision if I want to continue to explore alone, or together with others. Maybe this meeting will help me decide.
Of course the problems with the Lattice seem to be making keeping a neighborhood publicly available from the Nexus are going to be a major problem for this meeting. I might just have to decide to use one of the DRC holding pen neighborhoods. It looks like The Institution's, who I really appreciate and can't thank enough for offering the use of their space, is experiencing problems staying public, and so it seems is the fallback location.
I do have to ask, where are the leaders who carried this community in the years in the cavern between the last Restoration and now? And what happened to the networks of consensus and trust that I felt when I first started joining with other Explorers when I did finally find my way to D'ni? Was it always just collections of people who all just wanted the same thing–to be in the cavern, to be in D'ni.
The DRCL are just five people. It have the feeling that it took more than just these five people to organize not only those from the first Restoration, but those of us who joined the Gathered after the loss of the DRC. Where are the others, and how do we get them to again join together and help us reopen the City?
I think back the the dream I had, water falling onto the stone. Was I dreaming of the New Tree? Was I dreaming of something of this Restoration?
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Tonight in the Cavern, I counted the stairs
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On Being an Explorer
The pull was strong. I could not explain why, but I found myself drawn, as it seems so many of us here to the Cavern, to the City, to the Ages.
I don't remember if it was the games, the stories or something else, but I was eventually able to find my way to the Cleft. I still remember the first time I placed my hand on the book to what became my Relto. It was after the first restoration failed, and I felt very alone.
I equally remember the first time I found other people after about a year of short trips into the City. Something about being with people, about sharing this Journey with others made it easier and easier to find time to be in D'ni.
I remember the first time I went with a group into an age and realized that we really were traveling through possibilities. The subtle differences between the possibilities of each place. Living the dream of each Explorer bringing a part of a larger, dynamic whole to each mystery. Even those things that have become normal and common (if one can use such words to speak of the experience of being an Explorer) taking on new life and energy in the presence of the whole community. That erased a lot of the feeling I was carrying around about having missed the first restoration.
I was also in the Cavern the day the DRC announced they wanted to establish liaisons to represent the Explorer community.
At first, I thought this was a DRC attempt to help organize the larger groups and was expecting more announcements from the different major organizations. It wasn't until later that someone set me straight. And then I realized that I though what I did because there really did not seem to be a voice for the unaffiliated Explorer. It was a strange and awkward moment for me. In my mind, up to that point, there was only one Explorer community. The groups that had evolved during the restoration and right after were not a factor to me. But suddenly I found myself worried. I felt like I was going to be marginalized. I felt the same for other who were just then discovering D'ni for the first time.
The good news is that the community (mostly) pulled together and picked Liaisons. Not all was perfect in the process, but I felt that at least an attempt was made to be inclusive. The shame of it was when we did it again six months later. IIRC, less than 300 people participated in the election that reelected the slate of Liaisons.
Today, I still think about the organization of the overall community of Explorers. And I still have a lot of my same fears. We have old Explorers returning, other still making their way. We have new Explorers feeling the Call to Gather. We have those who follow the Gathered, either to follow their family and friends or just to provide support. How many of these hear the Call themselves? We have those who have learned of the city, and enter the city to see what the uru is about, if only because the crowd Gathering.
Every community of any size needs leaders. Every Journey needs those who will help navigate the path and guide. Every group of people collect their thoughts and finds a voice.
I'm worried about unaffiliated Explorer. Not everyone chooses to be alone. Many would choose to uru with those that see the Journey the same way.
In a very real way, I believe the DRC did the community a favor.
Let me explain.
In my life on the surface, I fight a battle every single day against people that want me to do something or give something to them. It may be information on how to do their job. It may be information on how to accomplish some feat. It may be someone just they to get me to do something so they don't have to. It bothers me, especially when it keeps me from doing my job.
I call this asking to be spoon-fed.
The DRC did not spoon-feed us. They told us what they wanted us to do, and they left us to do it.
The importance of action. I do not know how to say any more about it. Just The Importance of Action.
The Explorer community is robust and expansive. Many new Explorers are looking not to explore alone. There are already a number of great communities centered on a number of neighborhoods in the Cavern. How much of the problem of keeping the community from tearing itself apart will come from helping Explorers understand the organizations that exist already today. How many more events in the Cavern, either run by the DRC, DRCL or just random Explorers, will be successful with just a little bit more organization?
Every community needs leaders. And there are already a good number of leaders in the city.
We have groups that have organized to explore together. We have groups that have organized to help their fellow Explorers either with the Journey or by helping communicate the happenings in the Cavern. We have concepts that have taken form. We have parties and gatherings and social events. We have birds of a feather gathering to further surface hobbies and concerns here in the Cavern.
How many Explorers are just in the first neighborhood they landed in; one that may not be the best fit for their Journey? How many are still there because of the vagrancies of time do not know that the next neighborhood over could truly be their home in the Cavern?
I started a thread on one of the forums that a lot of Explorers seem to read asking the neighborhoods that are open to new members to actively recruit new members.
The DRC needs to continue the restoration, to do the work to open new places to explore, to keep us safe while exploring. The DRCL role is not to make life easier for the Explorer, but to be our voice when the DRC is ready to hear.
It is up to each and every organization to be ready to speak, in its own voice. And those voices will be stronger, and the issues they raise easier to act upon, if and only if individual Explorers feel that they actually have one. That through the organization they build for themselves, they create and focus their voices.
I do not expect to find a new home for myself. I only hope that we can reduce an intractable number of randomly moving parts into a collection of wholes. Explorers working with Explorers to achieve common goals.
And maybe I'm still dreaming. I am but one drop or water. And I feel on this, I speak for myself.
Alone or together . . .
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Looking forward to 2007
It's hard to believe that that we just spent a good part of New Year's Eve and morning in the neighborhoods, celebrating both the reopening of D'ni (or the start of the reopening) and the success of the overall Explorer community.
And now we reach the “Now What” moment.
I am curious as to where the Explorer community is going to go as more and more of the cavern is open to us, as more and more ages become available for exploration. As more and more people from the surface feel the pull of D'ni and make their way under the surface.
Right now, the strongest pull I feel is to the cavern. Compared to the surface, and even the other ages, nothing resonates with me the way the cavern does. I am looking forward to working with the DRC and the various groups in the Explorer community to help return D'ni to something, even the smallest something, of what it can be.
But the “Now What” comes from the question of how do we get to the next milestone in the restoration. Right now, I'm not even sure what that milestone is.
I'm actually looking forward to working with all the groups in the Cavern to find out what the next milestone we can share (Explorer, DRC and maybe even Bahro and D'ni) in the restoration of the city.
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Dreaming of D'ni
Last night, for some reason, I had a really hard time falling to sleep. Once I did fall asleep, I had the strangest dream.
The dream started in Relto. It appears to have been my Relto, but it was different. The pillars were all broken. The trees were dry and bare, dead. The hut was in ruins, the wall with the bookshelf missing. There was no grass, a thick layer of dust clinging to the surface of the island. It was not raining, nor a cloud in the sky above them island. Below the island, the clouds were dark, stormy. Thunder could be heard rolling across the sky.
I was lying on the ground where the fissure would appear, in the dust, face down. I can feel the dust coating the inside of my mouth and nose as I breath. I can feel where my chest is pressed against the ground, almost as if my heart is trying to push down into where the fissure should be.
At this point, I think I know this is a dream, because the perspective changes and I turn into water and start seeping into the ground. I can feel myself passing through the earth, and then beyond it, coming away from Relto as a large drop of water, falling into the fissure, past the stars and into the cleft at night, only I do not stop there.
In the dream, I lost all perspective for a moment. I found myself falling through the space of the cavern, heading towards a spot at the Ferry terminal, on the line of the Great Zero. And landed with a splash on a tree growing there, facing the Arch.
And then I woke up.
In my head the following thoughts ran, loudly, over and over:
Relto
Tomahna
D'ni
Water
Stone
Tree
Sometimes I have the strangest dreams.